So I woke up this morning thinking about orphans. Different kinds of orphans, I suppose. Like, I was going to post something here, and I was going to start it with, “I found these 3,000 orphaned words and I thought I’d share them with you,” and then I was all “orphans” and “I should go through all these orphan tabs that are forever open on my laptop…” And I did. And I found this interview from the other day. The one where Stephen Graham Jones is talking about stories (’cause, storiesamiritebros? hayyzSHWM) and he says, “Stories without fun stuff going on in them, when they fail I’m just left with a wasted half-hour, or a wasted week…” which is very cool and motivating, but then I scroll down and my new selected volume (Vol. 1, that is) of his work gets blurbed (what?! the only work of his out on the dock for 2015 right now?!) and that’s cool enough and then recommendations for other books (’cause booksamiritebros?) so yeah. 

Very good interview. Can’t wait for this one.

A Million and One Ways to Waste a Saturday Evening

In brief, this is likely one of the … crappiest movies I’ve seen in awhile. There was a funny scene in the beginning but the tidal wave of lazily-written misogynist and racist “jokes” washed it all away. It doesn’t get funny again until Wes Studi and Tatanka Means show up and deliver the best-written segments of the film. Pretty funny stuff.

I’ve never understood Seth McFarlane’s appeal, and I usually can find the funny just about anywhere. That said, this film has no idea what it is. The title is misdirective in that it has no references to Spaghetti Westerns (with the possible inclusion of the sequence where the horses get knocked over–the late Spaghettis devolved into a sort of commedia dell’arte, and scenes like that became the expected norm, along with dynamite [see 1974’s MY NAME IS NOBODY for a fine example of death by dynamite] but if you want funny, well: <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDX1IHcxQWY&gt;). At its core, it is largely a music/dance film (McFarlane has always been a sort of low-rent Busby Berkeley; I think he [and we] would be far better off if he would just commit to certain things) one supposes, but it has a bit of slapstick and violence along with a villainous Liam Neeson, who phones it all in. Sarah Silverman is occasionally funny by turns, and Giovanni Ribisi is McFarlane’s stand-in for it all. Being peed on by a sheep, well, I’m not his analyst, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

The film drags, and sags along, and has an inexplicable and improbable love story to it. I still don’t see how Charlize Theron’s character got from A to B to C, nor why we need to know that she was a child bride at 9. McFarlane’s approach to this work is like most of his other efforts; we feel as if we’re watching an angry, conflicted outsider turned loose without conscience, craft, or advanced choreographic skills. Ultimately we feel cheated and in need of a sanitizer.

The best part of the film is Amanda Seyfried, who acts as if she’s genuinely pissed off to be in this horrendous production.

A Million and One Ways to Waste a Saturday Evening.

First Post–Up Front

Yes. Yes. Yes. Just talking about this last night. Artists (writers/designers/filmmakers/painters/sculptors/musicians and everyone outside and in between) are continuously asked to work for free, often by those who would never consider that option for themselves. It’s beyond insulting.

This designer talks back to Showtime: <http://happyplace.someecards.com/showtime/a-graphic-designer-wrote-a-fantastic-response-when-showtime-asked-him-to-work-for-free/&gt;

Here’s a handy tool: <http://www.wageforwork.com/certification/2/fee-calculator&gt;

Thanks for reading. Hope to have more for you here.